Frankly?

Dating is nauseating. It really is.

It's hard enough to put your expectations on hold and keep an open mind especially if you're meeting somebody for the first time. You can't help but wonder how the whole thing is gonna go, and you try to prepare yourself for the worst, even though you're half hoping that the date won't turn out to be a disaster. Here's the lowdown on DATE WEEK 1.

B1. made BAD moves.

Boy wonder "forgot" to pay for dinner. Is stiffing the check supposed to turn me on?

B2. made NO moves.

*vital 411: this is not a first date. It is one of MANY. Ugh.

The attraction is there, but let's just stare each other in the face. For TWO years.

(frankly I don't know why this one's still on the list)

B3. made TOO MANY moves.

Three phone calls, four text messages -- all the day AFTER. You've got to be kidding me.

Okay, so I wasn't expecting to find true love the first week. But good mother of god, could I have at least had a decent date? Apparently that's too much to ask for these days. Of course in retrospect, I'm not ruling out the possibility that I may have something to do with these three amusing experiences. However, for the purpose of this blog I WILL rule out that possibility. I am not in any way trying to say that things should have gone perfectly, because obviously "perfect" doesn't exist. All I'm saying is...I would have appreciated someone who was "just right." Anyway, it's only the first week. We'll see how things pan out.

If by any chance, you, my reader are one of the three described above, please don't cry in the shower. It's not the end of the world.