Irritated and Inspired.

Pissed off and unable to sleep, I lay in my bed, staring at the very tip of my sheer canopy. There were too many thoughts running in my mind, too many things entering and leaving my brain at the same time - and I was just about ready to scream. "Don't you just wish you could make other people feel the way you want them to feel?," I muttered softly to myself, running my fingers through the gossamer fabric of my canopy. But as soon as I said that, I immediately realized that if everything worked out that way, then love wouldn't be as special as we make it out to be. In fact, if things really happened that way - where people can force each other how to feel, how to act, and what to do, then love wouldn't exist. The magic of love lies in the fact that it is the result of a conscious decision, not a mere by-product of emotion. That's why to love and be loved are two of the most amazing things in the world - because both involve a willful desire to commit to the responsibility of caring for someone in an indescribable level. 

I'm currently inspired but still incredibly upset. In fact, I am so upset that I can feel my chest throbbing, on top of which, I am wide awake at 130am, which is making me even more upset. At this point, the only thing I can do is crawl back to bed and wait until I somehow magically fall asleep. I'm hoping it happens soon, because being irritated and inspired at the same time is tremendously exhausting.