Salt on a Slug.

When things aren't going great and it feels like there are more obstacles than possibilities, it's easy to say that God isn't there. I remember feeling abandoned and victimized during one of my lowest points, and I actually taunted the big guy up there and asked Him if He was somehow enjoying watching me suffer. I felt like a helpless, chubby little slug getting sprinkled sadistically with salt, wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve such a slow and torturous suffering.

The truth was... while all this was happening, He wasn't watching. 

He was actually there, suffering with me.

I forget all the blessings so easily,  because I latch on to the painful times more often. I can remember the bad times in vivid detail, while my blessings remain buried in my memory. I often ask the question "why?" and demand an answer, when all I should really be saying is "Thank you." I finally get it. God was there through everything: when things were happening, and when they were not. He was there, not only to see me through - but to give me my heart's desire. I look around my room, see my college diploma hanging on the wall, and my wedding ring resting on the table, and immediately I remember; I had once asked Him if I was ever going to graduate and if He had somebody in store for me. The answers to these questions were right in front of me.

The crazy part about it all is that no matter how much He has already blessed me with, it doesn't stop there. He keeps blessing me - and the more that I let go of my painful past, the more room I have to remember the present and imagine my future. I see all the good in my life and understand now that whatever "sufferings" I complain about fade in comparison to the sufferings that Jesus endured. I have too much to be grateful for, and I should attempt to spend every single day of my life thanking God for all of it.♥